Mismatched Pieces
by Pensulliwen
Summary: Jacob smiles at her, but Renesmee can’t return it, because it’s that smile. She touches Bella’s arm to display her displeasure, because she doesn’t like it when Uncle Jacob looks at her that way.


**Mismatched Pieces**

**By Allegra**

He can understand why she's mad, really. It does sound kinda creepy, he remembers being weirded out by Quil at first, much as he wanted to support him. But it wasn't like that, it wasn't love at first sight; it was so much stronger than that. But she was a little girl, and he just wanted to protect her, for her to be his world. He couldn't describe it, and so Bella was angry, because he couldn't make her understand yet. He didn't understand it either, just felt an impulse to stay with her forever. And Nessie felt the connection too, he could tell. So he resolved to be the best big brother he could be. Someday when she was older, he would be the best boyfriend, and then the best husband, and she would always be the center of his universe _(just like her mother)._

No one can seem to let go of her. Not that he can blame them, she's beautiful and angelic and she will never be in want of company. They play with her, hold her as she sleeps, listen with rapt attention as she talks with eerily sophisticated speech for one so young (he's thrilled, she grows so quickly!), and no one tires of being shown her visions. Jacob tells himself he shouldn't be irritated, because she's not_ his_ Nessie, not yet. But she_ is_. The bond's there already, of course the feelings are too. She is his Nessie. But then Bella walks in, arm in arm with Edward, and perhaps he'll have to share her for a while longer.

Bella gets annoyed when he calls her Nessie. Jacob guesses he can see why, he did sort of give her a new name while Bella was off drifting in morphine, becoming a vampire (it didn't hurt to say it, they smelled bad but how could he hate anything that birthed something so perfect?). But Renesmee just doesn't suit her. It's too… Cullen. They have elegant, old names that roll off the tongue; Esme, Rosalie, Carlisle. Renesmee might have been Bella's invention, but it fit right in with them. And maybe she is a Cullen, but more than that she is a Black. Or at least, she will be. Renesmee Cullen is formal and pale, like them (his family?). Nessie Black is her, is his. So he shrugs, tells Bella that Renesmee is just too much of a mouthful, and smirks when "Nessie" starts to catch on.

She is three. She is three years old, he knows, but God she doesn't look it. She's as beautiful as she was the minute he laid eyes on her, and more now. She's pretty as ever, but the cute has turned into sexy and she's four, but she _doesn't look it_. He finds himself wanting her in ways he knows he shouldn't, not yet. But what does time really matter? They could be immortal together; it was just a matter of catching up with each other. She's sitting in Bella's lap, chatting as her mother brushes out her hair. She feels eyes on her, and looks up ready to flash a smile that dies when she sees his face. Jacob smiles at her, and she touches Bella's arm, brow wrinkling in concentration as she visualizes her displeasure. She feel's her mother's arm stop rigidly mid-stroke, and Renesme's thoughts turn to questions. Why is Uncle Jake looking at her like that?

* * *

They argue. Renesmee hears Mommy and Daddy talking in harsh whispers, sees the disapproving looks. Why are they looking at Uncle Jake that way? He's changing, and she feels sad because it's like she's losing him, he's not her Uncle Jake anymore. Once she even hears them talk of taking her away. She cries out then, telling them that she won't leave; how can they want to take her away from her Jacob? She still loves him, even if he's a little different. She runs and finds him, hugs him as her parents look on, unsure of how to feel. They leave, and Renesmee assures him that she will always stay with him. He smiles, and she smiles with him because this is her Uncle Jake. Then he leans out of her embrace, and kisses her.

Renesmee is careful not to think about it around Daddy. She is careful not to focus on her confusion when she is around Jasper. Because she's seen Mommy and Daddy kiss like that, she's seen Aunty Rosalie kiss Emmett like that, and she knows what it means. And she is confused. Because if that's what a kiss like that means, then why would she and Uncle Jake do it? She thinks maybe she should tell someone, but is afraid to. What if they try to take her away? And maybe she has it wrong. Maybe kisses are kisses, and maybe they're all just a way of showing love. She loves Uncle Jake very, very much, so she resolves to kiss him back. But… maybe just not the way he kissed her.

The next time he does it, Daddy finds out, and she's not unhappy about it because she doesn't like to keep things from them, and doesn't know why she feels like she should. Uncle Jake has never told her not to tell them, but she feels that it's wrong all the same. So part of her is glad that Daddy knows, because he can tell her whether it's wrong or not. He tells Mommy, and then they start screaming.

They yell about her age, they yell about his mind, and they yell about it not being time yet. Renesmee is surprised that Uncle Jake doesn't yell; he often does. He just mutters "She's my Nessie", and listens to them yell, and eventually walks away. Then Mommy and Daddy have a talk with her, and she is not to let anyone do that to her, and there are places people aren't supposed to touch, and if any of these things happen she is to tell them. She nods, mystified, and asks if she can still see him. She watches them confer. They seem unhappy as they tell her not as much as she has been, and never alone.

* * *

Bella watches uneasily as Renesme laughs at a joke Jacob tells her, leaning her head in to hear another. She hears Edward growl beside her and slips her hand into his without taking her eyes off the scene. Though Renesmee is four, she looks well into her teens, and Bella's still heart aches from having to watch her grow up so, so fast. Even accounting for sleepless nights, the short thirteen years human parents complain about having seem like such a luxury now that she has watched her daughter grow in four. Another year and she will be adult. It's not only her body that's growing, her mind is as well. But it's not quite on the same level as her body, Bella thinks, shifting forwards and then holding herself back as Jacob traces small patters on her daughters calf; she feels her husband do the same beside her.

No, Renesmee's mind can't possibly keep up, she can't cram enough experience into a day. Bella muses that one day they will catch up with one another, and prays that Jacob can wait. Because her beautiful daughter is a four-year-old girl in a fifteen-year-old's body, with a ten-year-old's mind, and her poor, beautiful daughter is innocent and confused. Bella wishes Jacob could see that.

* * *

Jacob casts a glare at their chaperones, before turning back to play with Nessie's hair. One kiss (two) and suddenly he was a child predator, watched every second least he do something unspeakable. He growled slightly. Some family. This wasn't how it was supposed to be; why didn't they understand? He loved Nessie, he could never hurt her; and she loved him. What was the point in waiting? To be conventional? He scoffed; there was nothing normal about any of them, and so normal rules shouldn't apply. They just wanted her to stay their baby girl forever. They didn't understand her the way he did, no one ever could. But he could wait. He traces circles across her skin and grins when she asks him what he's drawing. He turns the pattern into a wolf, and smiles wider as she conjures a picture of him in his other form to her mind and shares it with him. "Yes, like that." He verifies, repeating the design again (_his_).

* * *

Renesmee understands more now. She is five, but she is not five, and with understanding comes sadness (as with any loss of innocence). She loves him, as her Uncle Jake, and she knows that he loves her in a different way. She wonders if she can put up with that in order to keep him with her, but she feels tired when he kisses her, and it just doesn't feel right. She decides to speak with Mother about it. She's tired of trying to hide things, tired of lies and secrets ruining what should be a fairy-tale life. Maybe now she's old enough to speak with Mother woman to woman.

* * *

Bella listens quietly as Renesmee speaks, listens as her baby (no, not a baby— but God, not a woman either) tells her of words and touches that she is truly still too young to understand. Her daughter is eloquent, as she has always been, often pausing to formulate her thoughts into the choicest words. And her thoughts are all to clear. And when her lovely child stops talking, she expects Bella to have an answer, when she can only agree that this is not how it was supposed to be. It had seemed like it would be the perfect ending.

Bella tells Renesmee that she loves her, half to stall for time and half because it is so true. Without thinking, she tells her to follow her heart. To do what it tells her to do, even if what it says goes against what her mind wants. Renesmee is unsatisfied; what if her heart wants two very different things? Bella blinks back tears that her body can no longer form, a habit that has stuck for the five years since her heart stopped beating.

Sometimes, she tells her, a heart can be a fickle thing. But usually, though it may want two different things, it knows what is right; what fits. Renesmee nods, does not completely comprehend, but seems appeased. She leaves Bella torn, doubting her former conviction that even the wolves understood imprinting fully; why had she assumed that her daughter would fall in love with him too?

And a part of Bella will always wonder if she didn't just want something to assuage her own guilt— if there were reasons other than love that made her hope for Jacob's happy ending.

* * *

Renesmee and Jacob talk alone. She yearns for supervision, but requires the freedom that such chaperones would curtail. Jacob smiles at her, and she likes the way her hand still feels so small against his when they link fingers. But this time she steps away from his kiss, and she prays that this doesn't sound like a break-up scene. Were they ever together?

* * *

Jacob is gone. Without a word to anyone, without taking anything, he is simply no longer there. He listened to Nessie (_Renesmee_) and balled his hands into fists that wouldn't stop shaking, but he left without a word to her. No one else seems to have seen him go. And maybe that makes it easier. Maybe it makes it harder.

She cries. Because she loved him, because she loves him, and because she feels like she's losing a brother and a father all rolled into one. But she had to choose, she couldn't have it both ways (and how could Bella have ever taught her that?). So she hopes for his safety, and returns to her perfect little world, where a gaping hole is missing.

And wonders why all the little pieces never seem to fit together.

* * *

_AN: This is rather old, I wrote it just after _Breaking Dawn_ came out. Here be my original thoughts:_

_I can hear mobs forming in the distance. I'm sorry, but I cannot see this whole thing as anything other than creepy, and hope to God that Meyer doesn't write another book taking place after _Breaking Dawn_ in which I will have to consider the two cannon. Because you do not grow up loving someone as your older brother, or uncle, and then marry them. I knew no good would come of Meyer's penchant for Jane Austin._

_In any case, that is not what sparked this. What sparked this was the _Twilight Series_ assumption that if a man loves a woman enough, she is obligated to love him back, I believe stated by Jacob himself. I know, obviously, that _Twilight_ isn't realistic. That love isn't that perfect, that people _do_ move on from high school break-ups. And as with anyone who enjoys the series, I put up with that. But I cannot respond to the assertion that if a woman is shown enough love and devotion, she will eventually return the affection, in any other way but saying "life doesn't work that way." _


End file.
